Thursday, January 20, 2011

When things don't go my way....

I am not going to lie...I am not a patient person by nature. When I found out in November that we had to wait until the end of January to get started on our adoption process I threw a little fit (this my husband will attest to!). I wanted to get the ball rolling {NOW}. I think that most of us are that way by nature. We figure out what we want and it's like a fly to a light we are so focused on the goal ahead of us that we lose sight of the important things along the way (like remembering to not drive our spouse crazy).

Well, today is the day we are scheduled for our orientation meeting and as you can tell by yesterdays post I was really excited and looking forward to getting to that step in our journey.

And then, my beautiful and lovely daughter got sick with the flu....and gave that flu to me!

I am not feeling well and generally worn out because I've been up the last two nights nursing her back to health with medicine, fluids and snuggling. On top of that I am stressed out because I have assignments due and seriously lack the energy or time to do them. I also am supposed to start interning on Tuesday in a third grade class and will not be able to do so if I am still contagious!

So, I started to feel real sorry for myself this morning. I was bummed out and just pouty (this my husband will attest to as well). Then I got to thinking about the other times in my life that I have been at this point of looking into adoption. Let me tell you about those times...

When I was a girl I knew I wanted to be a mom. I played with dolls, adored babies and knew that I'd be a mom one day. When I got married I couldn't wait to have a baby. I was so anxious for it that I had a really hard time waiting until my husband was ready. When we started trying I did not get pregnant. After a year I did not get pregnant. We tried IVF and I failed to give birth.

Then, we decided to adopt. We made some calls, did some research and found a wonderful agency in our town. We signed up and then we waited (not long though). It was about 4 months when we got the call that we were chosen. About 5 months later we were parents to our son "Mighty" who is our pride and joy. We didn't plan on things happening that way...didn't frankly want things to go that way at first. But I wouldn't change it for the world and the heavens today because I have my dear son. He was God's plan for us.

Then, we started to think about a second child about the time that M turned 14 months old. We thought that because adoptions generally take longer for a second child that we would need to plan for at-least a year of waiting for a child. We knew we wanted a girl. We did some looking around, spoke with some agencies and even met with a couple of them. Then, we got a call one day from an angel (named Kelli), she connected us with an adoption attorney (named Lee, another angel) who was looking for a home for a baby girl that was due in 8 weeks time. Wow, We didn't plan on things going the way they did. We were a mess in those weeks leading up to Princess's birth does some seriously amazing things for His children. 6 short weeks later we met our daughter. She was every single thing we had hoped for and prayed for in a little girl. She is perfect for us.

 I was upset about today at first and then I realized that if things always went the way we wanted and intended them to go that our beautiful children would never have become ours. I am excited to get this ball rolling, but I am ok that it isn't today.

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